Gift registries in Indian weddings: what couples ask on Reddit, answered

Couples planning an Indian wedding often take their registry questions to Reddit before they ask their family: is a registry normal here, will elders mind, and how do guests give?

I read the posts on this in Indian subreddits and picked four that cover the main questions. Each one is shown below as it appears on Reddit, followed by my answer.

I work on Hazlnut, a wedding wishlist made for India, so I also explain how it handles each question.

Is a wedding registry a thing in India yet?

Someone in r/Chennai asked exactly this: has anyone used a registry service, and would people be comfortable with one?

It is newer than shagun, and where couples use one, it usually sits alongside cash rather than replacing it.

Cash in an envelope is still the most common wedding gift in many Indian families. What has changed is how it is given. In January 2021, The News Minute reported a Madurai wedding that printed a QR code on the invitation, so guests could send their gift by Google Pay or PhonePe. The bride’s mother said about 30 guests used it.

A registry builds on the same habit. Instead of one QR code for an unnamed amount, guests see a short list: a few things you will use, and cash funds with a stated purpose, such as the honeymoon or the new home. Guests who want to give an envelope still can.

Whether people will be comfortable with it depends mostly on how you introduce it, which is the next question.

Will my family mind a registry?

In r/IndianWeddings, someone wrote that friends who married recently either received many things they did not need, or asked for cash, which felt impersonal. They asked couples who had set up a registry for an ordinary Indian wedding how they shared it (directly, through parents or in the wedding group) and how older relatives reacted.

The worry is common. In a 2020 Asian Age article on Indian wedding registries, a bride-to-be said she was “not sure if our relatives, especially the older generation, would be okay with it”.

A registry is not rude in itself. It can look rude when it arrives without an explanation, because many elders see choosing a gift as the guest’s job. These steps help:

• Show it to your parents first. Relatives will ask them what you need. If your parents have seen the list and added a few things, they can answer with the link instead of being surprised by it.
• Share it the way your family already talks. You can use all three routes the post mentions: send it to your friends yourself, let your parents forward it to relatives, and post it once in the family WhatsApp group.
• Keep it off the printed card. Put the link in the WhatsApp message that follows the e-invite, or on your wedding website.
• Say once that it is optional, and that shagun and gifts of their own choice are just as welcome.
• Include gifts at different prices, including some under ₹2,000, so nobody feels there is a minimum.

I wrote more about this in how to introduce a registry to Indian parents. For ready-to-send messages, see registry wording for invitations and WhatsApp.

Can guests give cash in rupees, towards a honeymoon or a charity?

In r/DesiWeddings, a couple wanted guests to contribute to a few charities and to their honeymoon fund, but could not find a registry website that accepts Indian rupees. Most of their guests live in India.

Many registry websites are built for the US and take payments in dollars, so this is a common dead end. There are three practical options:

• A UPI QR code on the invite or at the venue. It costs nothing and every guest with a UPI app can use it. It does not tell guests what the money is for, and afterwards you match each payment in your bank statement to a name.
• A cash fund on a registry built for India. You name what the money is for. Each contribution is recorded with the guest’s name and note, which helps with thank-you messages.
• Both. A registry can hold gifts and cash funds on one list, so you do not have to choose between a registry and a honeymoon fund.

On Hazlnut: you can add a general cash fund, such as your honeymoon, home upgrades or new tech, or paste a link to a gift from any website. Guests can pay you directly by UPI, or through a payment gateway. With direct UPI, you do the accounting yourself. With the payment gateway, Hazlnut transfers the money to you securely and does the accounting for you.

For a charity, make a fund such as “Donations to [charity name]”. The money comes to you and you pass it on. A honeymoon fund works the same way: you use the money as you planned.

Which website should we use, so the house does not fill up with random things?

In r/TwoXIndia, a couple planning a North Indian wedding asked two questions. The second was about a registry: they did not want to fill their new home with random things from the start, and asked which websites to use.

The answer depends on where the things you want are sold.

India-built registries that accept links from any online store include Hazlnut, Kiki and Gifaa. This comparison of registry platforms in India sets out how they differ.

Whichever tool you choose, these habits keep duplicates out:

• Make one list for both families. Two lists bring the duplicates back.
• Use a list that marks a gift as taken once someone commits to it, so the next guest picks something else.
• Share it before people start shopping, with the invitation or soon after.
• Let several people chip in for large items, such as a fridge or a sofa, instead of each buying something small.

On Hazlnut: select Add Gift and paste the product link from Amazon, Flipkart, Myntra, a brand’s own website or any other online store. The details fill in; if they do not, you enter them yourself. Guests open one link and see every gift and fund together. When a guest reserves a gift, it shows as reserved to everyone else, and the guest buys it from the store and arranges delivery, or brings it.

What about guests coming from abroad?

A couple in r/wedding, planning a wedding in India, had guests travelling from the US and Canada who did not know Indian customs. They were unsure whether asking for a honeymoon fund would seem tacky, given that cash in an envelope is the usual gift at Indian weddings. Read the post on Reddit.

Two things make this harder than it looks:

• UPI needs an Indian bank account linked to a UPI app. Many relatives abroad do not have one, so a UPI QR code alone leaves them out.
• Shipping a gift from abroad is expensive and slow. For overseas guests, a contribution is usually simpler.

Guests who do not know Indian weddings also find one line of explanation helpful, for example: “In India, guests often give shagun, a gift of cash. If you were planning to give us something, you can put it towards our honeymoon fund.”

On Hazlnut: guests abroad can contribute by card in major currencies through the payment gateway, and sign in with Google or email. The money reaches you in INR, in your Indian bank account.

Where Hazlnut fits

Hazlnut’s wedding gift registry in India suits you if:

• you want gifts from different stores and cash funds on one list;
• you want guests to pay you directly by UPI, or through a payment gateway that does the accounting for you;
• some guests live abroad and would pay by card;
• you want several people to be able to chip in towards one gift.

Common questions

Is it rude to have a wedding registry in India?

No, but some elders may see it that way if it arrives without an explanation. Show it to your parents first, keep it off the printed card, say once that it is optional, and say that shagun and gifts of the guest’s own choice are welcome.

Can guests give cash in rupees?

Yes, on a registry built for India. On Hazlnut, guests pay you directly by UPI, or through a payment gateway that transfers the money to your Indian bank account and does the accounting for you.

Can one registry hold gifts from Amazon, Flipkart and other stores?

Yes, if it accepts product links from any store. On Hazlnut you paste the product link into Add Gift and check the details. Guests see every gift on one page.

Can guests abroad contribute?

On Hazlnut, yes, by card in major currencies. The money reaches you in INR, in your Indian bank account. Guests abroad sign in with Google or email.